How Can I Help My Child Sleep In Their Own Bed?

Bedtime Anxiety: Why Your Child May Be Struggling

Bedtime anxiety is when a child feels scared or uneasy about going to bed or sleeping alone. It will often present itself as trouble falling, staying asleep, or wanting a parent nearby during the night.

There’s a number of things that can cause bedtime anxiety in children. A few common causes include:

• Separation anxiety: Your child feels safest with you, and being apart can feel scary.
• Fear of the dark or nighttime noises: The unknown, especially during the night, can be frightening even for adults! This is a very common fear for little ones.
• Big transitions: This could range from getting a new sibling, moving to a new house, transitioning to a different bedroom, starting school, or any number of other things! Big changes can make bedtime a challenge for a time.
• Developmental stages: As children grow and their brains and emotions continue developing, you may see struggles as they acquire new levels of independence while still craving closeness to you.

All this to say, bedtime anxiety is a very normal thing for children to experience! We have a few tips for you to set you and your child up for a successful and independent night’s sleep.

Start with Consistency

Whoever coined “consistency is key” really knew what they were talking about! Giving your child a consistent bedtime routine and setup is going to make a world of difference for your child and their ability to stay in bed.

If you already have an established bedtime routine for your kids, keep it going. If you don’t already have one, consider what you do to get your child ready for bed and put those things in a predictable order. Here’s an example:

1. Bathtime

2. Put on pajamas

3. Brush teeth

4. Read book

5. Turn on nightlight

Whatever your bedtime routine for kids looks like, the most important thing to have in it is consistency! When the same things happen each night, your child’s brain learns to recognize those cues and start to relax going into their bedtime.

If your child starts to resist bedtime or plead for you to stay, keep your responses calm and consistent. The last thing you want is a power struggle; if your child says “just stay for five minutes!”, consider having a phrase you respond with each time. Some good options are:

• You’re safe in your bed

• I’m right nearby

• I’ll check on you in a few minutes (and then actually do it!)

You could even look at it as an affirmation for bedtime. It can be something you share with them when they struggle, and after a time, you could invite them to say that same phrase to themselves when they start to feel scared. 

Create An Ideal Sleep Space

Make sure their sleep space is set up for them to have a successful night’s sleep. Whether you’re looking to transition from co-sleeping or trying to reinstill some sleep confidence, taking a step back and assessing their bedroom set up can work wonders with helping them feel good when it’s time for bed!

Make Their Bed Feel Inviting

There are so many ways you can make their bed a fun place to be. The right bedding is a good place to start! The best bedding for kids is zipper bedding; it’s super comfy and oh so easy to make. All they have to do is line up the pieces and pull the zipper, and they’ll have a beautifully made bed every single time.

Layering in their favorite blankets, go-to stuffies, and maybe a book or two can make a big difference in making their sleep space inviting, cozy, and a place they’ll want to stay all night.

Soft Lighting

One of the most common causes of bedtime anxiety in children is dark spaces. An easy solution to combat this is putting in some soft lighting, such as a small lamp or nightlight, to keep the darkness away.

Things That Feel Familiar

Things like scents, sounds, or comfort items can be especially soothing for children during bedtime. They can easily be incorporated into their bedtime routine. 

For example, you can turn on a diffuser with the same essential oil each night, then turn on their white noise machine, then pass them their favorite stuffed animal. These are all items that provide comfort, plus they can all serve as signals to your child brain that it’s time to get ready for bed, so long as they are done consistently!

Let Them Take Ownership

Often, bedtime anxiety in children is happening at a young age, and perhaps during a time when they are starting to crave independence in other places.

Consider leaning in to this and letting them take ownership of a few parts of their bedtime routine. This can be done in a number of ways:

• Let them choose their pajamas

• Give them bedding that’s easy to make so they can make and unmake it on their own

• Let them choose the book to read 

• Give them options to choose from for white noise/background music

Not only will this satisfy their craving for independence and leave them feeling like a big kid, but it will also give you the ability to remind them, when they start feeling that anxiety and struggle to stay in their room, that they are so big and totally capable of being brave in their bed!

What To Do When They Come To Your Room

When your child appears at your bedside in the middle of the night, it can be tempting to just let them crawl in bed with you, especially when everyone is tired.

Some gentle redirection back to their bed is what’s going to be best for everyone involved. 

Calmly walk them back to their room, reminding them that they are safe in their bed and that you’re just across the hall or around the corner. If they try to negotiate, stay firm and tuck them back into bed.

The goal isn’t for a perfect bedtime, but to show them that the boundary and expectation is always the same, whether it’s 8:00 PM or 2:00 AM.

Celebrate Wins Big & Small

The process of helping your child overcome their bedtime anxiety is going to be a process, and that’s ok! Having patience with them, as well as patience with yourself, is going to be key to seeing it through. Things like growth spurts, illness, or travel can be setbacks, and that’s to be expected. 

However, celebrating small wins is a great way to encourage the growth and process that your child will inevitably make during the transition!

Consider what positive reinforcement you can give to show them that you see their progress. It could be as simple as a small treat each time they stay in their bed each night, or a sticker chart where they can keep track of their progress and work toward a bigger prize.

However you choose to highlight their wins, really hype it up: your child will follow your lead and feed off of your excitement at their progress.

Beddy’s: Bedding for Independent Kiddos

We know how important it is for you as a parent to encourage your child to feel confident and comfortable in their bed all night long. That’s one of the reasons we love Beddy’s zipper bedding! 

This all-in-one bedding solution makes it easy for children of all ages to make their bed on their own, giving them independence and confidence in this every day chore. Made with super soft material and smooth zippers, we’ve basically turned making the bed into a game, and your little ones are going to love it.

Browse our selection of zipper bedding today and equip your child with the best bedding for kids to give them that good night’s sleep!